In her work, Lise Bourbeau describes five fundamental soul wounds that arise from painful childhood experiences. These wounds—rejection, abandonment, betrayal, humiliation, and injustice—often remain unconscious and deeply influence how people experience themselves, others, and the world around them.

In this blog, you will discover how this early pain manifests through the psychological masks clients wear and how to recognize the underlying fear and survival script. Enrich your therapeutic practice and guide the healing process from unconscious reaction toward self-led transformation.

The Five Wounds of the Soul

The Wound of Injustice

The Wound of Injustice arises when a child is treated unfairly, whether through physical or emotional abuse, or by experiencing discrimination or false accusations. This wound often develops between the ages of 4 and 7, as the child becomes more aware of their individuality and the differences between people. It is also the period where attachment to the same-sex parent influences feelings of rights and fairness.

The Mask: "The Rigid"

The response to the Wound of Injustice is often the development of a stiff or inflexible attitude as a means of self-protection. The "Rigid" mask appears when someone shuts themselves off from the outside world for fear of being treated unfairly again. They try to keep everything under control to prevent a recurrence of injustice, leading to an inner stance of steadfastness and a strict adherence to rules and principles.

The Deeper Need

Beneath the rigid exterior lies a deep desire for justice and fairness, but also for the ability to find inner peace. The person carrying this wound often feels their experiences are unrecognized, leading to a profound longing for acknowledgment and a sense of honesty in their relationships.

The Wound of Rejection

The Wound of Rejection originates in early childhood, from conception to the first year of life, and is often triggered by the same-sex parent. It occurs when a child feels unwanted or unaccepted. This has long-term consequences for self-esteem and leads to feelings of worthlessness and loneliness.

The Mask: "The Fugitive"

The "Fugitive" (or "Runner") mask is a way to avoid the pain of rejection. This person often withdraws or flees from emotional situations. They might maintain superficial, avoidant relationships and shut down their emotions. Instead of being vulnerable, the Fugitive chooses emotional distance or escapist behavior to keep others at bay.

The Deeper Need

Beneath this avoidant stance is a desperate wish to be accepted and loved. The challenge for someone with the Wound of Rejection is to face their fear of rejection and reopen themselves to both themselves and others.

The Wound of Betrayal

The Wound of Betrayal typically arises between the ages of 2 and 4, a period in which the child begins to develop in terms of sexuality and personality. The wound is triggered when a child is confronted with lying, deception, or the failure to keep promises by a parent or significant caregiver (often of the opposite sex). This creates a fundamental mistrust towards others. The child feels betrayed by the one who should have protected them, leading to a constant fear of being hurt or abandoned again

The Mask: "The Controller"

The corresponding mask for the Wound of Betrayal is that of the "Controller". This mask is a defense mechanism against the fear of betrayal and is a way to protect oneself from the pain of being hurt again. The "Controller" tries to keep all situations and people under control to manage the outcome and avoid the fear of the unknown. This often results in an excessive need for structure, routines, and anticipating dangers to protect oneself from future pain.

The Deeper Need

Despite the outward strength and control that the "Controller" tries to project, beneath the surface lies a deep desire for trust and safety. The "Controller" wants to feel protected and longs for mutual trust, but the fear of betrayal continues to overshadow this need. Instead of finding the safety and connection they seek, the "Controller" tries to exert more and more control, which often leads to further isolation and insecurity.

The Wound of Adandonment

The Wound of Abandonment arises when a child feels physically or emotionally abandoned by a parent or caregiver. This can happen when a parent is physically absent, for example due to divorce, death, or simply by constantly not being there. However, it can also be emotional — when the child does not feel seen or supported, or when the parent is emotionally unavailable due to rejection, neglect, or a lack of care and attention. This wound often develops between the ages of 1 and 3, a period in which the child depends on the caregiver for both physical and emotional safety.

The Mask: "The Dependent"

The corresponding mask for the Wound of Abandonment is that of the "Dependent". This mask emerges as a way to avoid the pain of abandonment. The "Dependent" constantly seeks support, care, and validation from others to feel safe and loved. This person often feels unable to function independently and is continuously looking for external reassurance to stabilize their self-worth and emotions.

The Deeper Need

Although the "Dependent" often focuses on obtaining external validation, beneath the Wound of Abandonment lies a deeper, more tragic need: the need to feel self-worth and to stand in one's own power. The "Dependent" longs for connection, but when this desire is paired with the fear of giving up their own independence out of fear of abandonment, it can become difficult to set healthy boundaries and develop a stable, self-aware identity.

The Wound of Humiliation

The Wound of Humiliation arises when a child is punished, ridiculed, or disciplined in a way that deeply affects their sense of self-worth. This can come from direct forms of rejection, such as punishment, ridicule, or emotional or physical abuse, but also from subtler forms of criticism and disapproval. What these experiences have in common is that the child feels rejected on a fundamental level, leading to prolonged shame and self-rejection. This wound usually develops between the ages of 1 and 3, when the child begins to develop as a social being and becomes aware of how they are seen by others.

The Mask: "The Masochist"

The wound of humiliation often comes with the mask of the "Masochist". This mask is worn by people who allow themselves to suffer, often by feeling undeservedly guilty, punishing themselves, or intentionally placing themselves in painful situations. This stems from the belief that one is unworthy of love, happiness, or self-care. The "Masochist" tends to neglect, undermine, or hurt themselves, often as a way to confirm the unconscious belief of unworthiness.

The Deeper Need

The deeper need behind the wound of humiliation is the desire for self-acceptance. The shame experienced is often linked to the belief that one is intrinsically inferior. The challenge for someone with this wound is to understand that the shame is not proof of unworthiness. The healing process involves the person breaking the vicious cycle of self-punishment and starting to provide loving care to themselves.

Build Your Expertise

The Five Soul Wounds give rise to masks that function as survival strategies. These masks protect the wounded inner child but, at the same time, hinder the healing process. The path to transformation begins with recognizing the physical and psychological patterns that keep these wounds alive. True healing comes when the mask is shed and one responds from a place of love and self-acceptance, rather than from fear and protection.

Discover the full Asaya online learning platform, featuring over 250 ready-to-use models and exercises that you can implement directly in your practice. From Inner Child healing and emotion regulation to personal and professional growth, you will find everything you need to support your client's journey toward wholeness.